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In the deepest, darkest, scariest places in so-called civilized USAmerica there are dread creatures -- Hollywood movie producers, dastardly creatures without conscience, motivated only by profit, seeking power, prestige, and even worship.

These shadowy figures, whose existence is only hinted at in opening credits, plot to fill the yawning holes in theatre programming with things colourful, emotionally exciting, shallow, and LOUD. They feed on many places, on the hearts and minds and soul and vision of artistically-talented minions, and even on those without talent, and their ever growing hunger reaches far, far, through the depth and breadth of popular culture, yea, even unto COMICS.

Comics, brightly-drawn or stark black-and-while, rich with mythology or filled with trite cliches, peopled by multi-layered characters, or chock full of cardboard cutouts created by nerds whose only experience of humans is when they pay the pizza deliverer. Dick Tracy, The Shadow, The Incredible Hulk, Supergirl, such successes must naturally cause these grim reapers to plow and sow and harvest from such fertile soil. Oh, wait, they weren't successes, were they?

Maybe these pimps of darkened-theatre fantasies are born optimists, maybe the unplotted chains of events in comic books are simple enough for these original-thought-starved creatures to comprehend, maybe they think that morphing (seen it), more morphing (saw it), moody sets (been done), fearsome conspiracy theories (ho hum), the computer-generated bowels of hell (quite good) with it's CGI master (shockingly bad 3D, we expect better) and great, billowing red cape (best actor in the film) will be enough to feed the hunger that drives us to the theatres.

If you have the spare time, you could use it more enjoyably by having your teeth drilled without anesthetic by one of those dentists who takes the opportunity to explain his theories on women, the universe, and to practice his jokes on.

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